I've decided......

this year was full of knitting and sewing all year long for Christmas prezzies for the family. Especially after my kids let it be known that they loved me, but didn't want knitwear for Christmas....

I have decided that this coming year (09) I'm not going to do that for the family. I am just going to knit and sew for fun. Doing all those projects (which ended up not being very well received by some anyway) took all the fun out of crafting, and that's not fair to anyone.

"it's home made, isn't it?" grrr. I don't want to hear that question in that tone of voice ever. Maybe I haven't been selfish enough of a knitter up until now......because so many didn't seem to grasp how a shawl takes a month to knit.....yes, a month (from the Victorian Lace Today book), and they just threw it on the floor....YES.....on the floor! And went on to other presents & ooohhh and ahhhh over the store bought stuff.

next year, I will just take the money I would have spent on yarn & buy them something. It may just be a couple of dollars, but at least it's store bought & it won't hurt my feelings as badly as the shawl, when it's thrown on the floor. Maybe I will even get them something breakable so that they won't so callusly throw them on the floor, I think that's what I will do.

my step Mom just flat out won't let me do anything to help in the kitchen. I don't know why. My step brother got a live in this year and she let her do 1/2 the cooking, but told me to just 'sit down and visit'....what the world??? yep, I went from being 3rd on the favorites ladder to 5th (lol) and there are 2 there that aren't even blood related! I don't know why she won't let me help...I'm clean, and I'm not a bad cook......I want to think it's because she just is trying to spoil me & not let me 'work' thats what I'm going with.....yep........that's it....it's not because of anything negative :)

I also think that next year everyone can come here......we are always going one place or another, and we are always celebrating with the family elsewhere (having Christmas just as a family here), but next year I'm having it here, all at one time...everyone...then we can have our little clan celebration later just the 4 of us.

it's a wonderful life...indeed.

how blessed are we that we have friends and family that love us...?

I can remember just a scant amount of years ago, when my parents were giving me 'tough love' not having anyone at all.......no one..........not one single person to wish me happy day, nor did anyone even think of giving me a present, because of the 'tough love'.

years later, I can see their wisdom. I know now, after years of healing, how hard it was for them to give me that wake up call. Sure, it hurts, and because of it I feel like I can never really be close to my Dad again, but it was what I needed to see in order to stop going down the dangerous road I was going down.

little did I know that in these years since, I'd be HERE. I have 2 children here that love me unconditionally, and in all honesty have never seen the side of me that needed the 'tough love'....or at least I pray that person is gone forever & will never show herself again. I can only lean upon Jesus & thank God that I had parents that loved me enough to wake me up before it was too late.

I could be like the movie "It's A Wonderful Life" and wonder would it be a better world w/o me....I could look at the negative, but instead I will live my life with wonder..and know that because of Jesus it is indeed a wonderful life.

the children have opened their presents & my daughter even said this was the best Christmas ever. My son cried when he opened up one of his presents. I had already read the story of Christmas and we were all snuggly in our PJ's this am.....and we took our time opening up everything.

books are huge in our family. Everyone got at least one book. :) I got 2. The children got a lot more than that (but they've been REALLY GOOD!) lol. My groom even got a book this year :).

our van tore up yesterday, but it's running fine today. :) We could have been all upset & in despair about it, but we prayed and the van is running as fine as a van of that age can run. Thank you God.

I may not have been able to give the children the material things that their other friends got, or even all that I wanted them to have, but, I am thankful that the presents did make their way up under our tree. I would have sold everything I own, given everything I had to have seen those smiles on their faces....it's worth everything I own......and more. They are my life. They mean so much to me. Thank you Lord for them.

I have always looked at my 2 babies as living proof (okay, they are 13 and 14, but they are still my babies!) that God forgives, and God loves. I have 2 older children that were adopted long ago, and I know very little about what is going on with them, only what happens to 'trickle' down to me because of pictures in paper, or appearances on TV (I know their names, I gave them their names).....my oldest son will be 18 on the 27th, and my oldest daughter just turned 16. I still cry over them, and sometimes it's daily. I hurt, ache, and miss them so that until the day they are back in my life I can not be 100% happy. This may have to wait until Heaven but we will all be together again someday.

there's nothing, I mean nothing, as heartbreaking as being 'told off' by your child. Multiply this by 2 and you can almost imagine how much I hurt over how my oldest 2 children feel about me. I honestly could wither up and die if I read what they wrote me one more time. God can change any heart. God can take things messed up by man and make it perfected.

there will be someday that I have my 4 children sitting at my dinner table, and I will hear their laughter, and their voices coming down the hall. Someday I will not ache over what I do not have, I will instead feel free because my 'prison sentence' of living every day w/o 2 of my children will be over.......I'm patient. I can wait....even if it's forever away. I can wait.

life is not perfect, and my life is a prime example of that. I fall down, I cry.....I burn my hand it blisters, just like anyone else. The only thing that makes me any different than what I was before is He who lives in me.

my youngest son (and baby) looks so much like my oldest son that there are times I could cry. I have never allowed my heart to 'pretend' because that isn't fair.....my youngest children are not a remake of my oldest two, and I am not going to treat them that way.

my youngest daughter looks nothing like her older sister...but she does have the same sweet spirit...I am reminded of my oldest daughter and her laughter everytime my youngest daughter laughs. I would never pretend with her either.....who would it be fair to for them to live in their shadows?

yet another Christmas has come & gone & I live such a wonderful life. God gave me such happiness when he gave me children. I never knew what it was like to truly live, and truly have life to make your heart skip a beat until I had these children of mine.

I don't know if my oldest 2 children will ever read my ramblings, but my youngest 2 have promised to. Please know, that as I write this......I know you all are the reason for my happiness. I hope that whenever you see your reflection in the mirror you think "hey, I'm loved." because you sure are. Jesus is the only one that could ever love you more than I do.

no matter where you go, or what you do.....my doors and my arms are always opened......and my heart is too.

it is because of y'all that my life is so wonderful. Merry Christmas my babies.

wonderful day today!

my MIL and step FIL came & visited with us today for our Christmas celebration together. They started in Savannah Ga, and went to see different friends/children & ended things up here...we all had such a great time!

I fixed them b'fast. I think I could have fixed for the army. But, I wanted to make sure they had enough to eat because they have a long 6 hour drive home.......(((hugs))) and love to them.

it's been a while since I laughed as much :)

they acted like they liked their little home made gifts :) Nancy put on her socks right away *grins*

we are all so blessed!

we get to go out to Dad's tomorrow :) we need to be there at like 8:30 am......*yoza!*

the kind of thing that makes you appreciate Christmas even more :)

the Storey clan went to church yesterday & man were we surprised at the size of crowd we had yesterday! We go to a good size church, mind you, but this was a packed crowd & it was like something from the movies to see so many people packed into that one place. Everyone was dressed in Christmas colors & there was a smile on every face. What is it about Christmas that puts that kind of smile on your face? I know for me it's Jesus. I just get tickled everytime I think about His birth & His sacrifice. There is no way to not feel special by hearing that story over again. This world may turn a cold shoulder to you, but not Jesus.

the wee tikes in church sang a few songs....some of them weren't even old enough to read, but they held their books like they could anyway. They were all so darling, and they are so caught up in the Christmas spirit! :)

there are a few children there that their parents don't attend church. For some reason those are the children that are drawn to talk to my groom & I. I think that children long to be mothered everywhere they go, and I don't know how to 'shut that off' in me....so I end up mothering everyone, I guess.

there's this one girl in particular that my heart goes out to because you can tell by the look in her eyes she just wants her parents there. She's shy, and that makes it even harder on her....I can't imagine sending my wee one up there without me at that age (she's so young!) but thank God they allow her to go, even if they don't.

yesterday, while they were up there singing, she kept looking at me & smiling.....there was no one else there for her to look & smile to like you do your parents, so my groom & I just beamed praises to her..eventhough she's not ours, she needs that praise don't you think?

I love kids. There has never been a truer statement made about me in my life. I love my own, I love others....I just love them all. My brother would joke it's because they are my size (I'm short), but it's not. There's just something about them that always makes me smile, and makes me so happy to be alive. They don't care if you aren't in fashion or if you've not had a haircut..they still like you.....and they are the first to tell you when you've got food caught in your teeth, or if you have bad breath. I like that kind of honesty...we all need that forgiving nature & blatant honesty, don't you agree?

I came home yesterday after church with the feeling of Christmas. Our church put on a great play & we have a wonderful pastor. We are blessed to attend such a church.

you know you have 'sometimers' when........

you know you have sometimers when......

you are looking thru your bins to look at your fiber stash & find a handsewn/crafted fully lined apron you made for your own grandmothers Christmas prezzie....LOL...so granny has more gifts! LOL

CHRISTmas.............Christ.........

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.

Luk 2:2
([And] this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)

Luk 2:3
And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

Luk 2:4
And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

Luk 2:5
To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

Luk 2:6
And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

Luk 2:7
And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

Luk 2:8
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

Luk 2:9
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

Luk 2:10
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

Luk 2:11
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

Luk 2:12
And this [shall be] a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

Luk 2:13
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

Luk 2:14
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Luk 2:15
And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.

Luk 2:16
And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.

Luk 2:17
And when they had seen [it], they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child.

Luk 2:18
And all they that heard [it] wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.

Luk 2:19
But Mary kept all these things, and pondered [them] in her heart.

Luk 2:20
And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

Luk 2:21
And when eight days were accomplished for the circumcising of the child, his name was called JESUS, which was so named of the angel before he was conceived in the womb.

Luk 2:22
And when the days of her purification according to the law of Moses were accomplished, they brought him to Jerusalem, to present [him] to the Lord;

Luk 2:23
(As it is written in the law of the Lord, Every male that openeth the womb shall be called holy to the Lord;)

Luk 2:24
And to offer a sacrifice according to that which is said in the law of the Lord, A pair of turtledoves, or two young pigeons.

Luk 2:25
And, behold, there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name [was] Simeon; and the same man [was] just and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel: and the Holy Ghost was upon him.

Luk 2:26
And it was revealed unto him by the Holy Ghost, that he should not see death, before he had seen the Lord's Christ.

Luk 2:27
And he came by the Spirit into the temple: and when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him after the custom of the law,

Luk 2:28
Then took he him up in his arms, and blessed God, and said,

Luk 2:29
Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word:

Luk 2:30
For mine eyes have seen thy salvation,

Luk 2:31
Which thou hast prepared before the face of all people;

Luk 2:32
A light to lighten the Gentiles, and the glory of thy people Israel.

Luk 2:33
And Joseph and his mother marvelled at those things which were spoken of him.

Luk 2:34
And Simeon blessed them, and said unto Mary his mother, Behold, this [child] is set for the fall and rising again of many in Israel; and for a sign which shall be spoken against;

Luk 2:35
(Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also,) that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.

Luk 2:36
And there was one Anna, a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Aser: she was of a great age, and had lived with an husband seven years from her virginity;

Luk 2:37
And she [was] a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served [God] with fastings and prayers night and day.

Luk 2:38
And she coming in that instant gave thanks likewise unto the Lord, and spake of him to all them that looked for redemption in Jerusalem.

Luk 2:39
And when they had performed all things according to the law of the Lord, they returned into Galilee, to their own city Nazareth.

Luk 2:40
And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him.

Luk 2:41
Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the passover.

Luk 2:42
And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast.

Luk 2:43
And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not [of it].

Luk 2:44
But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day's journey; and they sought him among [their] kinsfolk and acquaintance.

Luk 2:45
And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him.

Luk 2:46
And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions.

Luk 2:47
And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers.

Luk 2:48
And when they saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.

Luk 2:49
And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?

Luk 2:50
And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them.

Luk 2:51
And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.

Luk 2:52
And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.


thank you JESUS!

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

in most of the world.........but here it looks like a rainy mess!

LOL

underneath our Christmas tree lay presents for my children. Each present a miracle of it's own because of my groom being laid off.......we've had no Christmas charities we could sign up for here (the one I tried to sign up for was...well...less than helpful for us....it's in another blog entry if you want to read it)..........we didn't know how in the world we were going to manage everything, especially with there being a longer wait on my grooms unemployment checks (we've waited over a month!!!).....but thru the grace of God, and His little helpers, we were able to take our meager funds and give the children a Christmas! It may not be as fancy or as big as what most children get, but each present is a miracle and has a story that I will share with them as they open presents.......what a special Christmas for them!

my little guy says that he just wants us happy for Christmas, and my little girl says that just hugs is fine (they are 13 and 14 so that's a big deal!)....how I raised such unselfish children is a blessing from God indeed. God has worked in their hearts and has given them so much that I can't even begin to describe how wonderful it is to be their Mother. "her children rise up & call her blessed"......amen. I am blessed indeed.

I have missed doing my Christmas charity work with the neighborhood children this year. It's been so sad that I couldn't participate in Shoebox ministries or anything. It's just so sad because we've always loved doing that........but there simply wasn't the funds this year........but we are praying for next year! There are so many children in need and we love to do our little part to help.

I haven't been left out of being worked on, either! God has used, and continues to use this as an exercise in patience & relying on Him (even my groom says so).......we have learned so much! And my groom is going to church & reading the Bible.......I don't care if I never got another present....having all my family at church and living for the Lord is the best present ever.....aside from salvation, of course! LOL

in 2 more years we will be moved away from this dreary place (praying!) and my groom will have a job as a nurse, and hopefully I will be able to work from home because we want to continue homeschooling.....and things won't be so bad/hard on us. The children have been so brave and strong and strong and brave....they have taught me so much about faith...I have the faith things will be better.........."ooooh child...things are get easier..........things will get brighter"

every day it has seemed to rain since the wipers tore up on our van.......my groom has had to battle getting where he has to go (school) and we've tried to make it to every church service, but can't go to the ones at night, or course.......we can't see at all then........it's almost comical to even think about how once one thing tears up they all seem to tear up like dominos falling.....but we've not lost our faith.......God has brought us together as a family and where do we really need to go anyway? It's saved us on gas......so it's not all bad, am I right?

I am looking forward to 2009......I am praying it's a good one for us all.........
thank you Jesus for everything......the thorns and the roses.

our homeschool CHRISTmas party today :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

well, it was our Christmas party today in our homeschool!

we went 'all out' for just us.....we had chips and dip (something we hadn't had in a while), hot dogs, burgers, and the fixins'. The kids had picked out a bag of candy each & that was their 'present' from the teacher.

my camera is dying & it takes terrible pictures. Forgive the blurry......but there's nothing that can be done about it :) IT's okay! :)

all day long I've talked about the TRUE meaning of Christmas & we've been even more thankful for baby Jesus & the fact He was born.......We all love Jesus so much here :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS. Thank you for coming to this Earth as a baby, growing to be such a man and STILL loving us enough to die for our sins. I can not wait to get to Heaven to give you such big hugs!

we even had a 'birthday' cake :) today. Supergirl made it......:) She's going to be quite the Momma she loves to cook!

shawls blocked, boxed, and wrapped

my camera is dying & the pics aren't showing up well, but the shawl for my step Mom and for my grooms grandmother is FINALLY ready to go....I've had them knitted for a while now, but lazy about blocking them......

Granny's quilt is officially finished!

yipeee! It's finished! :) I know that I'm the worlds worst at posting my finished projects (I have completed like 20 projects for Christmas & haven't posted all the pics......forgive me:)

What do you think of the wee baskets?

all my Christmas Crafts are officially finished!!!

well, I have officially finished my Christmas crafts...unless I can whip out something for my dear son......he's so hard to knit for (hes 13, need I say more?)

this is what it has added up to be

this is what I have thus far
Roll Tide coin purse for my Alabama crazed step Mom
shawl from Victorian Lace Today book for my step Mom
Ga. Tech quilt for my step FIL (sewn)
4 way neck cowl for my MIL, and for my grooms aunt
socks for my MIL
shawl from VLT book for my MIL
home made soap & cloths for my step brother
scarf for my step FIL
goody bag for future SIL
socks for my Dad
fingerless mitts & belt for my Supergirl
quilt for my Dad (sewn)
shawl for my grooms Granny from VLT book
shawl for my grooms other GM from VLT book
apron for my Granny
boyfriend socks for my groom
quilt for my Granny (sewn)
whew I’m tired.

Christmas play

our church had our Christmas play last evening, and all the kids did such a great job! With all of the negative reports in papers, and tv, etc. about teens & their problems...these teens are above & beyond the norm, thats for sure. We are blessed to have a church with a very active youth program & the Christmas play was one of the best I have ever seen. (I'm biast)

my Wonderboy was in the youth choir & he did such a great job singing last evening. He told me months ago that he felt led by God to do the choir in the play, and he did it............I am so blessed to have children that love the Lord & want to do His bidding.

Supergirl is so very shy that she didn't participate, but she sat by me just perfectly! She had a great time, and I hope that next year she overcomes her shy-ness to participate with the play....but we shall see.........that's something that is between her & God. I'm just thankful she sits next to me.

after the play we had snacks, and we had a good little crowd there (there were a LOT LOT LOT at the play), and it was good to be in the corner of the fellowship hall. I have anxiety & it's been on overload lately..........but its NOT ABOUT ME.......I swallow my fears and go because it makes my children happy........that's what my life is about.....they make my life worth living....without them I don't know what I'd do.......

my Dad came out yesterday & it's good to see him! He is upset that we are thinking of moving to Savannah, and while he loves me *I KNOW!* he is upset.......you can tell. I don't know how to ease his mood over this....there's nothing I can do about it until its a for sure we are moving thing & then I will have to go over there extra & try to help him understand.......but there's no need in putting the cart before the horse......we will wait until then to 'face' him about it.

this is our last week of school until '09.....the kiddos have a lot of work to do this week, and we'd better get cracking!

see you on the flip side!

boyfriend socks for my groom

On Thanksgiving I started these socks

Pattern
Boyfriend Socks by Alice Bell

Yarn -Jaeger Wool Silk
Stash
400.0 yards in stash (didn't use all of that)


Notes
started on Thanksgiving, for my groom.
I have never even tried cables before, so I went a little crazy…..LOL….
I did these 2-at-a-time TOE UP…..next time I won’t make them that way because my groom has a bodybuilder physique & it made it incredibly hard to make these do the increases like I wanted to at the top….
great pattern, easy to understand

Christmas celebration with Granny Tucker.

I may have only known Granny Tucker for 8 years, but she's like my own Granny. She is biologically my grooms Granny, but you can't tell that by the way she treats me *grins*.

she called last night & told us that she wanted us to come to Ryans (a place to eat) that she was hosting a last minute 'get together' with the family & that we 'had' to come. It wasn't going to cost us a thing!

here are a few pictures of our Christmas celebration. Forgive the poor quality, my camera is slowly, surely, and so sadly tearing up on me.......I've had it for 5 years, and I dread it when I no longer have it to use because I've had it so long.....

there were a lot of us there, but no one would sit still long enough to get pics, and I don't like taking pics of people actually 'eating'....

as I've stated before in this blog, I have anxiety problems and a huge problem with crowds. I get sick, and spend the next day or so sick because of the stress on my system. It even effects my heart & causes my chest to hurt..... but this year I've had my 'big girl panties' on all year long....these people that I care so about don't understand why/what it's like to have OCD, or anything like that.....and I'm tired of allowing this to 'handicap' me any futher....

I am not in the pics, I was the picture taker :)

we had a great time!