I was watching Biggest Loser last night & every Tuesday night that I watch it, I find myself feeling stronger, able to work out my last 3 days of the week (I workout 5 days each week). Last night, it was a little different.
I felt so bloated yesterday. I went & weighed myself & I had gained 6 lbs. IN ONE AFTERNOON. How is that even possible? So, yes. I started freaking out. Here I am being a good girl, staying on task, really hitting the workouts out of the park, seeing my body 'shrink' in clothes, and yet...6 lbs. gained in one afternoon.
so, my groom & I went & looked at my MACROS & I can honestly say that my sodium may be to 'blame'...so I'm going to keep a closer eye on them to see if may be the real issue...I don't know. But this is an example of my MACRO's yesterday
- Slim Fast
- 2 boiled eggs
- tomato soup (1/2c)
- low fat cheese slice
- TLC snack
- low fat bread(diet)
- turkey (2)
- light/diet chips *nasty won't eat them again*
- whey protein shake
for the sum total of:
and my target was
and I also drank a gallon of water.
I got up this AM & weighed again & I'm back down to 131. If I don't lose weight, this will be the 3rd week I've weighed this.
today, I'm tracking my sodium & trying to keep it below/around 1500mg. Talk about hard to do. I know I love math, but tracking is not easy. So far I have only 115mg, but I've not had lunch yet. I'm avoiding salt like the plague to see if I'm retaining part of all this water I'm drinking. It's a trial & error type of thing. It's not magic....but it will work once I get the right combination.
I cried last night. A lot. I curled up to my husband & cried for me. I know that it was selfish, but I don't remember ever trying so hard (physically) to not get the end results that I've wanted. It's been a really long year...and my 2 week attempt to get into the 120's is being met with resistance from my body. It likes being fluffy.
There are many reasons for my freakout...so many layers to this onion called my life. Somewhere, deep inside of me, there's still the voice of someone that use to be mean to me telling me that I'm weak, that I cant & last night it was really loud...and mean..to me. I know this freakout is just part of the journey & I KNOW that it will work...but last night was full of the "what if I don't's" that haunt me. There are no words that I know that can describe how failure feels......when you know you're giving 110% & still your weight does nothing....or goes up for part of the day........it just boggles my little mind.
the children are adapting to the low carb menus. They mention missing our old way of snacking, etc. and of course as hard it is on the adults in the house I know it's hard for them. In the long run it's going to be worth it. They won't have the struggle with the same things I struggled with, and I'm happy about that....sure, they may miss having comfort foods they use to have, but I'm hoping that is replaced with healthier comfort foods....we shall see.