a swap is a swap is a swap

if you've looked around my blog at all, you may have noticed that I was apart of a Swap on a Budget ($20), and you may have noticed all the pictures of what I sent her & her wee one....it was so fun to put together the package, make all the goodies & I loved putting all the yuummies in there....I admit it...I thought with all the kitty things I included (she mentioned she loved cats) that I had sent a pretty good package. This was my first swap, and I thought that she would like it.....and that her wee one would be excited to get the goodies I sent to him. I just love the kiddos & her wee one was sooooooooo cute I had to send him things too!

I have also mentioned that I am just almost 100% sure she didn't like my package. I won't say how I know, or why I think that.....but just know it's a pretty sure thing.

being OCD like I am this has really shocked me to the core. I have had moments of being in tears because I think I've disappointed someone.....eventhough it was only a $20 swap, I wanted the person that I swapped with to like what I sent her. I included things I thought she would like, and apparently I didn't know what she would like.....she has already requested something be made for her that I didn't include......

I know that everyone is raised differently, but I never knew that someone could treat someone else so coldly about a swap. Had I known my package would be received so coldly, not even a thank you PM from her or a thank you from the wee one, I probably wouldn't have swapped. I know that it's not about getting the thank you, but I have always been raised that if someone does something thoughtful for you, someone takes the time to do for you that you at the very least send a 'thank you' directly to them. Maybe I'm behind the times & people no longer do that...I am almost 39, so perhaps I'm from an old generation & common courtesy has gone the way of the dinosaur and people no longer do that...I don't know. I just know I'm hurt, and a little sad that my first swap like this ever has gone this way.

to my spoilee:

I am sooooooo sorry that I somehow let you down with what all I sent to you. In all honesty, I thought you'd love all that yarn, and all those goodies I sent to you, and I thought your wee one would be so tickled to get some things too. I'm so sorry that I somehow missed what you wanted, and the type of person that you are. I wish that I could somehow make it up to you.....I really don't know how I could because I went so FAR above the $20 guideline that I can't send you more to try & make you happy.

I have had COUNTLESS people tell me that what I sent was indeed okay, but I can't help but have those moments that I wonder if I sent a second class package....but then I look at those pics that I took of the package & I see that I tried....and in all honesty I'd be tickled to death to get that stuff, and if someone had thought of my children I would be over the moon....I guess that is moot point when it comes to getting involved in a swap, doesn't it?

I don't know you in real life, as you do not know me....perhaps this is a good opportunity for us both to learn something from this experience, take something from it. I know that I have learned a lot........I won't put verbs to it, but anyone that was involved in this knows what jewels could have been gleened from this experience for me.

I have started to PM you multiple times to apologize if I let you down, but haven't......for so many reasons, one of them being there is no way for me to make this right.....you were expecting something else I supposse & I've let you down by not delivering....and I'm truly, truly, truly sorry that you obviously didn't enjoy the package that I worked SO hard to put together...it makes me so sad. I don't have the words to tell you how much it hurts to put something together that you are proud to send out and then have such a cold reception (which includes complaints to others about the package)....it just plain hurts. I truly wish that I could make things better, but I honestly can offer only I'M SORRY! and the promise that you will not ever have to wonder about getting a swap from me again, I will make sure to not...I don't want to let you down again.

I may not do another swap.....period. I just take it too personal when someone doesn't like it......I've never had anything like this happen, and I don't know how to rationalize this persons behavior, and I certainly don't know how to wear the "I don't care...I did my best" hat...I wish I could be more callus about it, but I don't know how.



I hate that I let my spoilee down. I don't know why you didn't like my package, or what I could have done to make it better for you.....I am soooo sorry.






EDITED TO ADD:


the yarn that I saved money to buy, spent the money to get the stuff to dye it, spent the time to dye the yarn......is already either traded, or to be traded. I have never been so hurt in my entire life over something like this.

she PM'd me wanting to trade 2 of the skeins of yarn (the DK) that I sent her for some other yarn I had in my stash. THEN she PM'd me again *acting* all confused. I took this opportunity to let her know to not PM me again. I want nothing more to do with her, and will not EVER swap with her again.

she has the 3 skeins of Debbie Bliss yarn that I dyed for her, the 2 skeins of DK that I dyed for her on her trade/sell/sold page. She even told the mod that I only sent a partial skein (so I was told). The mods have handled the situation and eventhough it pains me that my stuff that I made/sent wasn't good enough for this person, I consider the case closed.

I left the LHOTP swap & told them I was not going to participate. I am too afraid to swap after this foul of a swap.