Wednesday, November 19, 2008

a swap is a swap is a swap

if you've looked around my blog at all, you may have noticed that I was apart of a Swap on a Budget ($20), and you may have noticed all the pictures of what I sent her & her wee was so fun to put together the package, make all the goodies & I loved putting all the yuummies in there....I admit it...I thought with all the kitty things I included (she mentioned she loved cats) that I had sent a pretty good package. This was my first swap, and I thought that she would like it.....and that her wee one would be excited to get the goodies I sent to him. I just love the kiddos & her wee one was sooooooooo cute I had to send him things too!

I have also mentioned that I am just almost 100% sure she didn't like my package. I won't say how I know, or why I think that.....but just know it's a pretty sure thing.

being OCD like I am this has really shocked me to the core. I have had moments of being in tears because I think I've disappointed someone.....eventhough it was only a $20 swap, I wanted the person that I swapped with to like what I sent her. I included things I thought she would like, and apparently I didn't know what she would like.....she has already requested something be made for her that I didn't include......

I know that everyone is raised differently, but I never knew that someone could treat someone else so coldly about a swap. Had I known my package would be received so coldly, not even a thank you PM from her or a thank you from the wee one, I probably wouldn't have swapped. I know that it's not about getting the thank you, but I have always been raised that if someone does something thoughtful for you, someone takes the time to do for you that you at the very least send a 'thank you' directly to them. Maybe I'm behind the times & people no longer do that...I am almost 39, so perhaps I'm from an old generation & common courtesy has gone the way of the dinosaur and people no longer do that...I don't know. I just know I'm hurt, and a little sad that my first swap like this ever has gone this way.

to my spoilee:

I am sooooooo sorry that I somehow let you down with what all I sent to you. In all honesty, I thought you'd love all that yarn, and all those goodies I sent to you, and I thought your wee one would be so tickled to get some things too. I'm so sorry that I somehow missed what you wanted, and the type of person that you are. I wish that I could somehow make it up to you.....I really don't know how I could because I went so FAR above the $20 guideline that I can't send you more to try & make you happy.

I have had COUNTLESS people tell me that what I sent was indeed okay, but I can't help but have those moments that I wonder if I sent a second class package....but then I look at those pics that I took of the package & I see that I tried....and in all honesty I'd be tickled to death to get that stuff, and if someone had thought of my children I would be over the moon....I guess that is moot point when it comes to getting involved in a swap, doesn't it?

I don't know you in real life, as you do not know me....perhaps this is a good opportunity for us both to learn something from this experience, take something from it. I know that I have learned a lot........I won't put verbs to it, but anyone that was involved in this knows what jewels could have been gleened from this experience for me.

I have started to PM you multiple times to apologize if I let you down, but haven't......for so many reasons, one of them being there is no way for me to make this were expecting something else I supposse & I've let you down by not delivering....and I'm truly, truly, truly sorry that you obviously didn't enjoy the package that I worked SO hard to put makes me so sad. I don't have the words to tell you how much it hurts to put something together that you are proud to send out and then have such a cold reception (which includes complaints to others about the package) just plain hurts. I truly wish that I could make things better, but I honestly can offer only I'M SORRY! and the promise that you will not ever have to wonder about getting a swap from me again, I will make sure to not...I don't want to let you down again.

I may not do another swap.....period. I just take it too personal when someone doesn't like it......I've never had anything like this happen, and I don't know how to rationalize this persons behavior, and I certainly don't know how to wear the "I don't care...I did my best" hat...I wish I could be more callus about it, but I don't know how.

I hate that I let my spoilee down. I don't know why you didn't like my package, or what I could have done to make it better for you.....I am soooo sorry.


the yarn that I saved money to buy, spent the money to get the stuff to dye it, spent the time to dye the already either traded, or to be traded. I have never been so hurt in my entire life over something like this.

she PM'd me wanting to trade 2 of the skeins of yarn (the DK) that I sent her for some other yarn I had in my stash. THEN she PM'd me again *acting* all confused. I took this opportunity to let her know to not PM me again. I want nothing more to do with her, and will not EVER swap with her again.

she has the 3 skeins of Debbie Bliss yarn that I dyed for her, the 2 skeins of DK that I dyed for her on her trade/sell/sold page. She even told the mod that I only sent a partial skein (so I was told). The mods have handled the situation and eventhough it pains me that my stuff that I made/sent wasn't good enough for this person, I consider the case closed.

I left the LHOTP swap & told them I was not going to participate. I am too afraid to swap after this foul of a swap.


KnitWit said...

You know, I noticed that she didn't seem to like your package and I thought it was really rude. She didn't even post pictures or at least act like she was excited about it. I thought it was especially rude because she'd been so vocal about waiting for her package and what not, and then posted comments on other people's packages about how thoughtful they were and how their spoiler really must have gotten to know them or whatever.

I'm not trying to attack your spoilee, or anything. I don't want to start drama. I just noticed and I thought it was rude, especially since anyone could tell that you worked hard on her box.

Plus I think that a person should be grateful for whatever it is that is sent to them. Even if they don't like it, they can knit the yarn for charity or include whatever it is that they don't like in a box for a different swap!

I say don't beat yourself up about it. You did your best and some people are pickier than others.

Also, don't stay away from swaps forever! SOAB is only my second swap, but I've thoroughly enjoyed both, and you're bound to have a not-so-great experience with these things every once and a while.

Chin up. ;-)

Kimbo said...

I don't think you were trying to attack anyone! That is not like you at all!

I thank you so much for your message to me!

You are my guitar hero!! I look forward to seeing you on Rav~!!

Suzanne B said...

Personally, when I saw all of the pictures, my first thought was what a great package it was and how you had put so much thought into it and how you thought of everyone with you.

The first swap I did was the same way for me. I just didn't the other person was all that impressed, but the last swap I did went very well for all intended.

I think it just comes with the territory. I'm learning (slowly I must admit) that I can't please all of the people all of the time and all I can do is my best and something that is pleasing to God and let the pieces fall where they may.

Kimbo said...

maybe it's first swap syndrome then? LOL

I thank you for complimenting my package that I sent! It means ever so much!

you are so right about pleasing God....He's happy with me.....then all is GOOD!

Suzette said...

Please don't let this turn you off from swapping! I hate that your gift got such a lackluster response, but rest assured that 99% of the people who got a package like that would have been thrilled. You can't control how other people react and I'm sorry that this happened to you. I would have been very hurt as well.
If you are able, I encourage you to try swapping one more time and see if it suits you. You're a nice and thoughtful person and I seriously doubt you'll have an experience like this again. I'm secretly hoping you get MY name next time!


Kimbo said...

thank you so much everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!