Thursday, November 06, 2008

I ramble

I'm the rambler

oh the rambler

I ramble on and on and on.

I truly don't even know where to start todays blog entry, so I'm just going to ramble everywhere..I hope that's okay.

the past couple of days, we 'house/dog' sat a for a friend of mine. She even allowed us to use one of her cars...we had a great time, and it was good to be at a place that was not lacking for was like a bit of vacation everytime we drove over there. The kiddos acted like they had fun being able to watch 'real' TV .... :) God is so good to us.

okay, about my hair....or lack there-of.
I feel completely naked now. I hadn't realized how much my hair was my 'comfort' my 'blanket' if you since my neck is showing I feel so self conscious....and Wednesday night when we went to church only one person acted like they even noticed the over 10" was missing from my hair.....either that means I'm a wall flower & no one notices me, or it looks think? sigh. I don't know.....I feel so insecure now. I did have one person tell me that I looked like a kid with my hair cut like this....I guess that's better than looking like a man..ha..ha. I just can't believe how much I have changed on my comfort levels in 3 years. When you think about how much of my life I spent with super long hair, then super short hair (when I went to cosemtology college it was as short as it could be)........and then I stuck with the short hair for a long time...lllllllllllooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnngggggggg time.

I can't help but think about the person that is getting my hair. I can't help but think about how insecure they must truly feel & then that makes me realize how silly my 'scared' feelings are. Any day with hair is a good hair day, am I right? I am so happy that I did it. I can't express to you in my words how joyful I am that for ONCE in my life I feel like I completed something. I feel like after all of those failures I've had, all the let downs that I've had, all of the hard things that I tried that I went down in flames (and not like Jesse James, either) have something so personal, so important to me to come to an end like means the the woman/man/child/whomever that has come to a time in their life that they are getting my hair....I pray that God blesses you......I pray that you are healed & that you know every moment that you brush that hair, wear that wig, etc. that you mean something to me. You are precious to me..and you are the exact reason I grew it out.

we went out to my Dad's today & he noticed my hair right away. He told me it really looked good.....and guess what else? He said he was proud of me....who doesn't want to make their parents proud? I know that I live to make my Father in Heaven proud, to serve Him, and I certainly want to be the kind of adult child that my earthly Father is proud of.......I have for sure let him down a million times, and even now I'm less that stellar......but I want to be more.......and so I'm reaching higher...and higher. One of these days I will ask my Dad....."do I make you proud?" I just don't have the guts to yet.

I have really struggled with what to post about the elections in the US because it is something so personal to so many people, and honestly (as I posted earlier) I had it on my heart.....and I really didn't know how to allow it to flow from my mind, down to my fingers and onto this screen that you are reading........but here it is.

Lets just say Obama got no votes from this house & I cried because of my disappointment from it. I was set back. I was shocked. I truly didn't think that at this time in our lives we'd have a democrat take over the white house, KWIM?

Wednesday night, at church......the Pastor helped me put so much into proper perspective.....he used Josh 2. He talked on Rahab and her faith & how God sometimes works thru unlikely people in the most incredible of ways.

Rahab had 4 strikes to consider
1. where she resided....she was considered an enemy because of where she lived.
2. she was a woman. God used a woman in this important of ways, and it was unusual at this time. One of the older Jewish prayers, in fact, was a man thanking God he wasn't born a woman.....if that let's you know anything.
3. she was a harlot.
4. she had been dishonest and a liar

She was an unusual woman, and ended up marrying and settling down. She is, in fact, in Jesus' ancestry. She is an example of living faith (Heb 31) and (James 2:5) her works were affirmed.

she was very street smart & used this to her advantage to convince others that the spies weren't there.

she had heard on the streets about God & believed....she had courage (12-13). She was willing to join & become apart of Gods family (12-14).

the scarlet rope represented the blood of Jesus. (v 21)

she was a very loyal person, and her family meant a great deal to her. she believed truth, had courage, and her decision was for the Lord.

why I mention this is because just as God could use a harlot to futher His kingdom, His will He can do so no matter who holds our title of's not who stands behind the podium that has final's who is on the throne..and God is on the throne.

listening to the words of "his eyes are on the sparrow" helps put a lot into proper perspective. Sure, we have troubles.....especially right now.......but God has His eyes on me......He's watching over me. (y'all too!!!!)

I sing because I'm happy..........I sing because I'm free......His eye is on the sparrow & I know He watches over me.......

Oh how I love King Jesus.


knitogether (ravelry ID) said...

Thanks for sharing your heart!

Suzanne B said...

Thank you so much for this post. I really needed to be reminded about the story of Rahab. I have been trying to remind myself for the last two days, that God is in control and the He IS more powerful than any president.