Monday, November 17, 2008

come'll be all right.....

I just can't get that song out of my mind...

"...come'll be all right
come Monday, I'll be holding you tight..."


this am I awoke to do a dreaded errand. It was finished in quick time, and I was notified at another errand that we are on a 2 year waiting depressing it will be to still be in need whenever we get to the top of that waiting list..but at least we are there.

I am glad this errand (these errands are) is finished.


while at said place I noticed a change in the people that are there, and how many more people there are at said place. It's really sad. It does nothing but show even more that our area is getting more and more destitute. So so sad.

I also found out that we can not sign up for Christmas charities this year for Supergirl, (because of her age) so that means Wonderboy will not be signed up either. At least we will be warm, and together...and prayerfully well so that's what matters, right? RIGHT.

while at said place, I of course took knitting. There was a wee one there that was very interested in what I was doing & since he spoke little to no English & I speak little to no was an interesting conversation to say the least. I wanted so badly to clean his little nose, but his Mom wasn't interested in doing that for him & of course wouldn't allow me (a stranger) to go to the restroom to clean him I just tried to ignore all of the crud on his face and the stuff running down out of his nose. It isn't his fault, now is it? I just wanted to clean his little face & sit him in my lap like I use to my wee ones and tell him stories about knights and frogs and how come sand squishes between our toes....but alas, I couldn't......I'm a stranger to him.

I just love children. They are honest, and they don't care what color your skin is, or how bad your breath may smell.......they just "are"....when do we go from that to as adults the way that we are? I'd sure like to know.

It's getting closer to Christmas, and it's getting cooler here. This am when I left it was really cold to me & it made me wish I had some gloves......must learn to knit gloves...I thought to myself as I touched the won't be long until it will be time to get a tree, put up little Popsicle ornaments, crafted by wee little hands smudged with loads of glue....and once again hot coco will need to be made and yet another year I will long and wonder about my oldest 2 children......and pray that they are okay, and pray that somehow, in some way, God has plans for us all to be together again this side of Heaven.....and if not, for God to give me the understanding to survive another year without knowing and loving them. Of course missing them is nothing new, but at this time of year it's at an all time high. I pray they are okay........I miss you guys & love you both!

the closer it gets to Christmas, the more I miss my Sugar Momma. No more will I have the perfect potato soup or the gravy made just more will I get the Sugar Momma hugs or hear that laugh! Oh man could she laugh! And the way she would shake her arms in the air whenever she thought something was funny, I've not seen anything like it yet! I refuse to think about how her body is in that cold ground at Davistown Baptist Church....I refuse to think about how 638-7915 will NOT ring in at her home. It's simply too depressing, and I can't face that right now. I, instead, will think of the great memories we had, and how right now..she's with Jesus.....and there's NO better place to be. If I could just stop crying selfish tears over missing her, I'd be doing well......but I still can't (even 3 years later) make it thru a Christmas without at least an hour of missing her so badly I can't breathe, and thus the tears start to come.

another thing that makes Christmas hard is the fact I won't get to see my brother. Tater has decided he is an only child & will not speak to me, my groom, or my children for that manner. It especially hurts because we use to be SO close, and on days that I could sure use a good ol' Tater hug, there just an't one to be found. I have gone from the days of crying & wishing I could see him to now I'm just praying he has a happy life. That's all as a sister I could want for him, other than for him to find Jesus. But thats a whole 'nuther blog entry. I just miss the stuffing out of him, and it hurts to know that this is the 2nd Christmas I won't be seeing him...or if I do it will be that unconfortable 'I don't like you' type of meeting up & that's not hardly promoting Christmas spirit, now is it? So, no...I think I will just try to avoid his haunts during that time....

we will be going out of town the last few days of next week & it will be so nice to get away from the worries here, if only for a couple of days. Thank God the price of gas has gone down enough for us to go, so I need not worry about running into my brother over Thanksgiving, now I just need to worry about Christmas, and try to arrange it so that my Dad isn't "put out" by this rift between my brother & I. I'm praying that I don't have to worry about avoiding Dads, but if needed I will stay away, after all, I have family here...he has no children to celebrate with...

this is my grooms week to work. He's working one week, getting one week unemployment (so that makes 2/2 in a month), up until the first of the if Christmas wasn't tight enough already!'s good to see him go to work, because he loves providing for us, and he left out the door just now *he works 2nd shift* with a big grin on his face.

he still hasn't given me the 3 answers that were asked of my Love Dare today...but I know that he will....and when he does, I will share speaks well that he's having to think about it, doesn't it???:-) GRINS.......

still no news on Mary Jane....I've contacted like 100 shelters and a lot of them contacted me back saying they'd notify me if she turned up....please continue to pray!!

well, that's about it right now.......

oh, except for the fact I hope that my spoilee got her package today!