Friday, March 20, 2009

while buying gum.

I have an older brother, and a younger step brother, and thats it. Neither one of them have children of their own, and are honestly at the age that I doubt they ever will.

I was buying a really big pack of gum today for a pen pal of mine & I came to the sad realization that I will never be an aunt.

I would have made a good one too. Just the right mixture of knitting know how & diaper experience to be the kind of aunt that not only the parents would love, but the child would too. I would have made them cookies from scratch when they came to stay the night & I would have been the one that told them "of COURSE you can stay all week with me".....that kind of thing.

years ago, I was watching a Friends episode & Monica made the promise to always have gum. I looked at my brother & said to him that was me. Aunt Kim would always have gum.

Years afterward, wee children a thing of the past for me, I find myself thinking about the wee ones that I will never hear "Aunt Kim" come from their lips. I will not get to be the one to take them to church, or be there to talk about bullies at school, or even explain how gum always, yes always, makes things appear better.

Its a sad thing when you realize for the first time that God has apparently said "NO" to a job you applied for & would have really loved to have. There are many times that God has said NO to's just this one stings really bad right now.

all of this occurred to me today, while buying gum.