Wednesday, January 07, 2009

because I ramble

I have finished all but one of the web projects that I was wanting to get finished this week (yesterday). I'm so excited about that! One thing about #1 not sleeping much, #2 having a brain that won't shut off until a job is completed, and #3 being so OCD I worry I will forget where I'm at in said project...all leads to crazy days of sitting here (doing what I told the children is little more than coloring...*grins*in hopes they will pick up the art of graphics soon :o)....drinking endless cups of coffee & forgetting to eat until my groom mentions I've been working 6 hours straight on these projects, I need to take a break.......leads to being finished quickly.......I am only waiting for the payments to come in now :o) Payments of beautiful fibers...ahhhhh...probably more than I will ever get to spin on my drop spindle, but I'm putting the fibers back for a rainy day, or for when I get a wheel......*grins*

I have been contracted to do a sweaters worth of yarn (hand dye), and the yarn is going by snail apparently...its still not here........(sorry Danielle!) I'm hoping it arrives today....the little brown van came down the road today looking at addresses.....I hope it wasn't for us.....because he didn't come in our drive....we shall see...I hope it doesn't get 'sent back'....I will keep you updated. (if anyone even reads this blog).

I did get to paint some yarns yesterday, and a couple of them are dry, while some are still drying...I can't wait to see how they all turn out. I just love the colors that come from it all.

This morning, Supergirl & Wonderboy went with me to the store, and we had our 'math lesson'. I am one of those Mom's that take every opportunity to teach the kiddos something about school. I don't care if we are in school or not.....a lesson may take place anywhere & it's been known to involve all the neighborhood kids too. I'm an equal opportunity educator. :o)

I hate living where we do. We live in a mobile home park, and this is one of the first ones I've lived in like this my whole life, and I will be 39 this month....I hate we have to live here, and hate even more how people act here.....I don't understand mean behavior & I never will.

there's this older lady that lives a few places down from us that is raising 2 of her grandchildren, and has just all kinds of fussing going on with this grown child & that grown child. She doesn't behave herself well, and it embarrasses me for those children that live there. My own Mom use to yell and embarrass me as a child (outing me about something), and I hate to see that trait in others Mom didn't stop doing it until she found the right kind of medication to help with her problems (too much to talk about here, and I'm not going to throw her under the bus for effect either), but just take my was hard on us growing up.

Wonderboy was looking outside yesterday, and said that someone was breaking in formerly mentioned mobile home, so I went to the door to see because I was going to call the police (not that I'm nosey, but you have to take action when someone is doing wrong), and sure enough one of said persons adult daughters was breaking in....and then said person could be heard yelling (yes thru our walls & all & she lives like 4 places down), and then she came out physically fighting with said grown child. It was terrible. And then, they all just made peace and said neighbor acts like nothing happened.....what? How do you lay hands on eachother like that & then be best friends??? I shut the door to keep the children from seeing them go back & forth, but I had to explain to my children what had happened....and how we must never put our hands on eachother in anger.....I just don't get it. Just because you live in a mobile home park doesn't mean you have to ACT like you live in one, know what I mean?

we keep mostly to ourselves here because of how bizarre some of the neighbors are.....we have quite a few of them down this road & sometimes I wonder whay all of them (but one) moved in after's like they followed us here.......LOL......*moan* is it time to move yet? NOPE.

I have belly ached mentioned how much I hate it here in Alabama. Another post can't pass without my mentioning it again....I hate it here. I have a brother that won't speak to me, a Dad that refuses to be close to me, 2 older children that were adopted & I never get to see, a painful past I'd rather forget, and I'm always worried what's going to happen next here......I know that other places have their problems, but it would be so nice to move somewhere else....where NO ONE knows me......where it makes it better that my family is this way because I'm so far away that's an excuse my heart can take as to why they aren't close to me emotionally. Sometimes the best place to be is somewhere else.....where is the Calgon that is big enough to take me away from this? LOL

I battle the bulge....did I ever tell you that? A former ana sufferer that battles the fat. Yep. That's loads of fun too. (not)/snark. I weighed myself this morning, and for the life of me I can't get out of the 130's.....for the life of me! I've tried everything.....(well not surgery).....and what kills me is how hard it is to try & get down in weight when I use to have to force myself to pick up weight. When my groom met me I weighed like 88 pounds. No lie. He saved my life. Now, I just want this weight off......and it doesn't matter how much I do (or don't) just won't come off of me. Before I broke my ankle I was doing the workout my groom made up for me (he's awesome by the way), and STILL couldn't get down in weight. I was STILL in the 130's.....and that's just crazy! I've tried doing exercise tapes, and was to the point I was overdoing them and I STILL couldn't get out of the 130's for long....when you are 5'0" like I am 130 looks F-A-T.....

I watched "Biggest Loser" last night & cried. I cry every show. I 'feel' their pain & know their frustration.....I'm already pulling for the 'orange' team...the one with the heaviest man ever on the show.......he's so young....God love his heart....he could be my son he's so young.

my groom goes to the gym. He loves working out & his body shows it. He looks like a bodybuilder & can't gain weight to save his life. It's like what he does to try to 'get wider' ends up on my 'rear end' and sometimes I just laugh at myself because of it. He's an amazing piece of work, and God is doing wonders with him. I love that man of mine.

I did some webwork for someone back in November, and I've finally heard back from them with a promise to pay.......*grins* (praying they do it!) it was a "christian" site & I took them at their word that they would pay me w/o watermarking, and I'm still waiting......if/when that small payment goes thru I'm going to get something for the kiddos. I just love them. They are my world & my life......without them I'd die. I just know I'd shrivel up and die. HURRY UP PAYMENT so that I can spend a LITTLE bit of money on them.......:o)

I'm waiting on a couple of small (I'm talking $5 small) payments from avatars I made, and when those go thru I'm taking them & getting my groom some protein powder. :o) I think he'd like that....he say's he can never have enough of it (because of his workouts) and it would be nice to be able to get him something too. :o)

I'm hoping that all these payments go thru before Sunday to where I can give my part to the church..afterall, without God first giving it to me, I wouldn't have it at all, now would I?

well, chores are calling....anyone wanna dust? LOL