Tuesday, December 02, 2008

it's almost to the point all you can do is laugh.

have you ever been there?

So many things happen that by themselves would be bad, but then together they are just almost to the point all you can do is laugh.

thru the kindness of my MIL, she sent us a card so that we could get gas to go see her & get back home (thats good!), and thru the goodness of my Granny we were able to have a way to go (thats good!)

when we returned it seemed to 'hit the fan'.....as they say

  • I found out I didn't get the job cleaning a nearby church, because my cousin had suggested her DIL, and I was basically given the interview so that the church would have no questions about their hiring. My cousin called bragging about it to my Granny (bad thing #1)
  • I went to give Granny her car back.......get our van back......it was really low on gas & my groom hadn't given me any money. I also couldn't get it to shift gears......it looked like the transmission was going out, but we stopped at the Dollar General & got trans. fluid. I didn't know where it went (bad thing #2) and I felt foolish because I had to call my Dad. He made me take his cell phone (we don't have one, of course!) and that made me feel (bad thing #3) bad, bad, bad.
  • someone that had asked me to do work for them had told me they would pay me & I told them I didn't want it until the job was finished. They haven't sent any money. (bad thing #4). I have a bad feeling about this one. Hey, guys it's Christmas! Please send my money!
  • Mary Jane has been missing just over a month. (bad thing #5) *tear* I'm so sad.
  • my friend that has a quilt shop isn't mentioning needing extra help this season because she 'really isn't doing it anymore'.....so I won't have the funds from that either this year. (bad thing #6)
  • the guy FINALLY called to let me know they had chosen someone else to clean the church. Instead of saying what I'd love to have said I said "thanks" and hung up.....thanks??? oh gee, thanks for being cruddy to me & leading me to think I had the job by what you said...no.........I didn't even say that. (bad thing #7) Why is it when someone does me this way I go.......BLANK. Even today.......nothing. What should I have said to him.....this person who obviously only wanted to belittle my existance by even bringing me into this whole thing.....???I didn't even call him a bottom dweller. I wanted to. In my head I had thought of all this stuff I wanted to say with how they played me, but it was NOTHING...I went blank...........wow. He got a 'thank you'. How lame am I?
  • the children have very little Christmas & I found out today that my Supergirl is too old to get 'toys for'......so I didn't sign either one of them up for charities.(bad thing #8). Oh, I'm sorry...your daughter is old enough to know Christmas doesn't grow on trees <--exactly what she said to me..that ugly, mole faced, huge cracked up wrinkled, ol' lady........what did I say? "thank you anyway" What is wrong with me? Kill them with kindness. I recon that's all I can do is say 'thanks'...what the world?
  • we applied for food stamps.(bad thing #9) we had no choice, my groom is laid off for good now (bad thing #10), and we tried to get paperwork together & you wouldn't believe the hoops they expected us to jump thru. You would have thought I was trying to buy a car...or a house. All I wanted was to get this thing finished. I understand there are things they need, but my caseworker wouldn't even copy off something that showed on her screen "it's not my job to prove this stuff & get it in"<--her words to me.

all that I can say is that it's to the point its laughable. If my life had a start over on it I think I would.....and I would go back & be meaner. Yep. Say mean things. Nah, I don't have the heart.

but where's the justice in this world? I do good for people...I don't pull wings off flies...and I've not ever even mocked the first mean thing about a person. And still here am I...........all this stuff falling apart & I'm helpless.

you know, if I didn't know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves me I'd be for sure He hated me with all this stuff falling apart.....but I know He's watching over me & it's going to be okay.......

like I said, it's almost to the point all I can do is laugh.

3 comments:

Suzanne B said...

Hang in there Kim. Remember who is in control in ALL things. You know He won't let you down. Just keep the faith. I'm praying for you!

Lady Katryna said...

*hugs*

I can understand how you feel, but you need to re-look at your list and see what God is doing for you rather then seeing them all as bad.

Like there is a safety net like food stamps that you can get and continue to have food on the table. That your father is alive and willing to help you. (mine is dead and I miss him horribly)

Sometimes when bad things happen your really need to look for the lessons that God is trying to teach you. Sometimes having a negative attitude about everything can make it difficult to see what good things you really have.

Trust me I know this isn't easy, but trying to write everything as good things and lessons can really help. I've had to do it many times in my own life.

Hang in there God really does have good for you if you just look for it.

Kimbo said...

thank you both so very much!

((((hugs))))

there is always positive in every negative.