Tuesday, November 11, 2008

what it means to have someone on your team.

There are many things in this life that I am not but the few things that I am, I take great pains in making sure I'm doing my very best that I can do.

I have gone thru part of my life where I felt there was no one on this Earth that truly loved me. I came from a rough home that, sadly, the parents didn't put much stock in going to church and the like. I can not tell you how many times since then I have felt alone....most especially when I reached adult-hood and my parents were giving me 'tough love' to get me to see that my life was going down the wrong path. I felt like I was the only one on my team.

in the year that I met my groom, it was one of my toughest. I was raising wee children all alone, trying to run a home, sleeping every other night (due to my job), with little to no help from my family (see reason above). I learned a lot that year. And I thank God for it.

the Christmas prior to meeting my groom, I was inside Big Lots & honestly, I felt like the only 'single' there. It seemed everywhere I looked people were coupled up. I had been so busy just trying to survive that I hadn't noticed I was alone......so very alone........up until that moment.

I went out to the parking lot & cried. I prayed that if God didn't have a mate for me that He would take this lonely away from me. That was long before the prayer I uttered for Him to come into my life.......but I will always know He took special mercy on me that day....He heard my prayer.

it was just a short time later, while I was going thru so much that next year, that I met my groom. The very minute I saw him I knew it. If you've never had that 'yoza' feeling of just knowing this was the person ment to be your forever, I don't know how to describe that feeling to you, I just know it happened to me.

I look at marriage as one of the best teamings of all time. I know in our case (we've been married for 6 years), we've had ups, downs, ins and outs..we've lived our lives without God, and (thank God) now we live them for HIM.

I love knowing that I am not just an "I"...I have someone on my 'team'. I have a team-mate. He goes above & beyond to be good to me & my kids......and he soothes my worry, cares for me above what I feel I deserve (LOL), and has such gentleness towards me that he has towards no one else. My groom doesn't go around just falling in love with any and everything. Its a real feather in my cap (lol) that I have his love. I feel so blessed that this man loves me. And you know what? He truly loves me.

he is such an honorable man. There are things that he wrestles with that others may not even think about, and I can honestly say that he has never yelled at me. Not once. Not even a little. Sure, that can be frustrating when (in those moments) I've been upset with him...to see him 'cool as a cucumber', but I can't tell you how special that makes me feel that he treats me with such gentleness & tenderness. I don't know if it's because he knows what terrible things are in my past & I'm scarred from them.....or what......(that's something he would have to share), all I know is that it makes me appreciate having someone like him on my team more than you could probably realize.

every morning I wake up, and before I even get out of bed, I look at his sleeping form........all warm and cozy next to me...and my heart races. I still get excited every single day because I know I'm going to get to see him, be with him.......love him. God did something extra special for me by putting him in my life. And loving me an't easy...let me just tell ya. (LOL)

having someone to share the decisions with, the tough times with, the good times with.....all the times with means more than I have someone on my team........it means that this man was picked by God to be my mate. How precious & special is that? God took time from all He had going on, to not only give me someone to love........he gave me this man to love & be loved by. It's just like with Gods love......I don't know what I ever did to deserve something so wonderful, I just thank God I did it. Because I'm so truly blessed :)

the feel of his hand in mine, the way he looks across the dinner table at me, and gives me that crooked grin, the way that when we are sitting in church...he puts his arm around me & pulls me close, the way he just knows when I'm sick, or sad, or tired, or whatever....he takes such pains to make sure I'm okay. WOW. Even if no one else on this Earth cares how I am today, my groom does. I've gone from feeling like no one other than my children loved me to having this man love me with all the fiber of his being.......me. Yep. Me. <--still overwhelmed by the fact its me.

when he & I married, it was long before I made my committment to the Lord. But, the promise is still the same. I love this man of mine, and I'm so thankful to God that I have someone on my team. I have one of the most honorable men I've ever met in my entire life that loves me. No matter what my hair looks like, or how many times I've failed.......he loves me.

right now, at this very moment......I can hear him in the bedroom, sleeping. I love to hear the sound of him breathing.......I love to reach out at night & feel his form there. I love waking up, and going to sleep with him. I wait up for him every night so that we can go to sleep together. Goodness how I love that man of mine. He's such a good egg.

you know what? It's like 4:40 in the morning...I'm going to lay back down in bed, next to the man I love.......I pray your life is blessed!

talk to you soon!