things remembered.

yesterday morning, as I was getting ready to workout, one of my uncles (on my Mom's side) called me to tell me that another uncle (one that I've been very fond of) passed away unexpectedly...

I spent the whole day going thru a roller coaster ride of emotions, and of course I was in no way shape or form capable of working out yesterday.....

they called me late yesterday & told me that he would *my uncle* be at the church in 30 mins.....(surprise to me, I thought It'd be today), but I rushed to get ready to see my Uncle Tom Eds family....and show my support.

I can't tell you how many tears I cried here, and am still crying. I wanted to try & be strong yesterday for his wife & children, because crying all over them isn't the way to go...and isn't going to help them........

when I pulled up to the church my 2 remaining uncles were looking at the to-be graveside that is close to the church. My 'big daddy' uncle came to me first & hugged me tightly & said "it's getting us one by one".....and I said "yep.......if its one by one we are still getting there to be with Him"...and my 'baby uncle' was right behind him (I don't really even know him, we've not ever 'jelled' in a relationship) and he hugged me so tight I thought he was going to squeeze me to death. He was shaking. I don't remember the last time anyone has ever hugged me like that...oh wait, yes I do......it was my Mom....he gave me a Sugar Momma hug......I told my 'baby uncle' that I was sorry for his loss.......


I walked in (alone) to the little country church & there was my uncles casket. His wife, my Aunt Joyce, was coming to talk to me. We hugged, and talked & remembered some of the things that made my Uncle Tom Ed one great amazing man.....I wanted to get thru the whole thing without crying, and I did manage that...but barely.

my uncle Tom Ed has 6 grown children & 1 of them has ALS like Mom did. And she is the spitting image of my Mom..only taller & a lot skinnier.....it was bitter sweet to see her...I knew what I had to do.......she has no children & her husband passed away years ago, so I would go sit by her......and try to be a support to her.

I can still understand her words.....it's hard, but I can. Most of the others couldn't, so I tried to tell them what she said. She's pitiful & I wish that I could make things better for her, but I know that I can't.....and knowing that this disease is horrid makes me hug her all the more tightly.

one of my aunts (my big daddy uncles wife) came & sat by me & said some amazingly sweet things to me. Someday I will share them with you, but right now this is our secret......it just means the world to me that SHE said those things to ME.......

after spending a long time there, it was time to get back home....on the way home I started remembering back to some of the great things that made Tom Ed Tom Ed.......if you know what I mean.....

I was one of his oldest nieces. He gave me my first nickname (Sissy, for those that are keeping track), he was so shy he wouldn't even eat in front of me.......he loved sweet tea. When others were speaking terribly of me in church, etc., he spoke up for me..sure, he started off with "man, she use to be a rough one, was into everything"......but he ended up with "but then she got saved, and got it right"........I love you Tom Ed..LOL....one of the funniest things about him was how he would 'bribe' me to sit still *(yes I was grown)* in church by giving me butterscotch candies. I loved to make him laugh, and would do so by making faces or hugging him unexpectedly during church (when I went to that church).......and when Momma died, and I couldn't bare to look out the windows of the church & see Mommas grave, and couldn't stand the whispers about me.....he totally understood when I started going to another church..he never said a negative word about it.

recently, I went out to see my Uncle Tom Ed and Aunt Joyce....and when Tom Ed came to the door he was confused & thought I was my Mom......looking back on it I wonder why he thought that.....and it soothes me that he thinks......(I mean thought) I favor her. I wanted so badly to see my cousin that has ALS & he called her & I got to talk to her......yep....that was my Uncle Tom Ed.....just making it possible.

gosh, this world is a lot more empty without a man like him......I am thankful that he didn't lay and suffer like my Mom did....but I would have liked to have seen him one more time......I hate that I have to wait until Heaven......but I know he is there........and I can't wait to see him.....I know just where to find him........he's with Jesus.

my son called him Mr. Uncle Tom Ed. He still does & he's 13....he & my daughter are of course sadened by this......and we are all going thru the grieving process.....

I miss you so much....Mr. Uncle Tom Ed.........I ♥ you.