Friday, February 20, 2009

Day 16:Shred DVD

I worked out so hard this AM, I almost pulled a muscle in my side. Silly me. I stopped just short of an injury, but close enough to know I'm busting it as hard as I can.

I'm angry. I'm angry that my math isn't working out like it should. By the math I should be going down a pound every other week, but here I am at a standstill on week 3. Keep in mind we don't have a digital scale, so it takes a good bit for it to show up, but still...come on! Really? You've got to be kidding me.

I took my after workout soak & I started to tear up....thinking about how hard I've tried & how let down I feel because after all this time, and 16 workouts I've not budged but a pound. But then I decided crying would mean I accept this.

AND I DON'T IN ANY WAY FORM OR FASHION ACCEPT THIS OUTCOME!!

I decided to once again put on my big girl panties & get over it already. So what...at least I lost 1lb. that I wouldn't have elsewise. Get over it....yep. I'm gonna.

I logged on to my blog to post my workout thoughts & Isela had left a message that encouraged me beyond belief. Thank you so much, Isela. I don't know if you realize how down I was and how your message was so needed...oh man, do I feel better.

here's the down low......
I'm a shortie (5'0") and I had a hysterectomy a few years ago, I'm 39, and I suffered with an eating disorder in my life and it's not going to be easy for me. It's not impossible...it's just not going to be easy.I'm keeping up with my macros, and measuring, and weighing. I hate the scales because they make my girl brain think I'm not doing well...but I'm not giving up.

I'm wearing shirts I haven't been able to wear for over a year, I'm smaller in my pants, and I'm looking better in my birthday suit. Scales may not notice, but I can tell. Stupid scale.

I'm just fed up. I'm fed up with thinking about it...tired of worrying about it, and wishing that I could lose it already (the weight I mean).

my MACROS yesterday
  • Calories-1130
  • fat-40
  • carbs-100
  • protein-94


4 comments:

Spider Lady said...

I never go by scales ~ they lie and make us feel bad. Go by the way you look, the way clothes fit (or don't fit) on you. That is the true test. And hasn't your Hubby told you, Muscle weighs more than fat? With you working so hard ~ you are prolly developing muscles while losing fat so the scale don't know NOTHING!
Don't lose heart!

K said...

thank you so much!!! Yep, he's told me that a million times...but it's just so hard to believe sometimes...a pound is a pound whether fat or muscle, in my mind...I guess.

thank you so much!!!

Beth said...

Kimmie, my nutrionist told me that it doesn't matter what the scale says. It's all about what our bodies look like. You may never get to that magic number you are looking for, but are losing inches which is honestly better than pounds. They now use waist measurements to predict type 2 diabetes, not how much weight a person is carrying around. Be proud of the fact that you are losing sizes. It's the most important thing. Hugs,
Beth

Isela: Purling Sprite said...

The most important factor is that you are still encouraged and moving and doing something about it all. Exercising will help.

Another thing we have to keep in mind is that it took probably a few months, years (in my case) to get the poundage on. It is going to take time to lose it...and unfortunately, work, lots of work.

Just keep at it and you will see results.