Friday, January 02, 2009

uuuggghhhh old

I will be 39 this month & I look a lot older. I've had a hard, heartbreaking, pain filled life & it shows on my face......all of those times spent frowning because of said circumstances has left it's mark upon me......not only with the age spots, but also with something I noticed this am.

I was raising the blinds & I caught a glimpse of me in the mirror, and I know it's vain, but I saw an old lady. My face is already starting the 'slipping off my face' thing that old ladies usually get. good grief. I already have 3 old age spots on my face, and now this. And now I see the ol' hounddog pouch starting on my chin. As if it's not hard enough to look at my face now I'm falling apart.

My Dad's family ages well, my Mom's not so much. It's obvious I'm following after my Mom & aging wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too fast. I've not been a smoker, or a sun worshipper (I've rarely ever had a tan, truth be told), but I'm a sad specimen none the less.

sad, sad, sad.

this is what I looked like when I married my groom 6 (yes only 6 years ago) will be 7 years in July....can I say 7 years ago so I will feel better?

this is what I looked like last year....I took this pic when I had straigtened my very curly hair one day

I took the above picture after I had cut off all my hair for locks of love. I felt like a million bucks when I took the pic, because it was a goal of mine for a long time & it felt good to 'give' (because sometimes I'm so selfish).....but now that I look at it.............
I hate this picture because the 'flash' shows all my bad spots, but this is what I look like now. Depressing, an't it? see that thing under my left eye? Yep age spot. See those lines on my ol' head there? Yep those are wrinkles....same for my eyes, and see those droops starting at my chin? Yep. I'm getting the ol' hound dog look.

I weighed around 110-115 when I got married & now I weigh like 135. No matter how hard I try, or how I exercise I can't get back down to that. I've tried every exercise out there. Believe me I have, my groom is a 'gym rat' and has done all he can to try & help me & I've given up.

I know that this post is vain. No one has to tell me how vain I'm being right now, or how I should just be glad I'm alive.....but can't I just whine a little on this post........come depressing!


it's not fair. My groom is in all honestly, becoming more attractive as we age, and I feel like I look like his Mom's age. D E P R E S S I N G ! ! ! And to add to that how my groom looks at fitness. He has a bodybuilder type body & has a thyroid disease that makes him believe if he can do that anyone can.........grrr. He just doesn't understand.

gripe over........